Love Language?

Are you in one of those relationships where you do everything to please your partner and they still feel unloved? you give them gifts, compliment them and still try to help out with one or two things, but they still feel unloved. You’ve been wondering what they want from you, it’s getting you frustrated and tired.

Well, the reason why they aren’t feeling loved is that you’re not speaking their love language.

What you need to know is that people don’t give and receive love in the same way. Most of us think that the way we want to be loved is the same way others want to be loved but that’s not the case.

You need to know and understand the love language of your partner, know what to do, and say that would make them feel loved. Just imagine a Korean guy is trying to talk to a Chinese lady, things won’t go well because they can’t understand each other.

If you want to have a smooth and strong relationship you must know how you and your partner give and receive love.

Before I mention the seven types of love languages, let’s first know what love is.

What is love?

 According to Nicholas Sparks, “Love is like the wind, you can’t see it but you can feel it”.

Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take offense and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people’s sins, but delights in the truth. It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes.” – 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Here are 7 Love Languages you should know about;

  1. Receiving gifts;

” Some gifts are small others are great but the ones that come from the heart are the best gifts of all” _ Tinku Razoria

This type of love language means that the act of giving or receiving gifts is viewed as showing affection. To you receiving gifts is the best way of them showing they love you. I’m not talking about being materialistic or the cost of the object but the thoughts behind it. It can be simple as a card or some packs of flowers.

Birthdays and anniversaries are a real deal to you and the thoughts of your partner missing one devastate you.

  1. Quality time;

 “Time is the currency of relationships. If you want to invest in your relationships, start by investing your time”_ Dave Willis.

People with this love language enjoy spending time with their partners without any distractions. To the person, undivided attention has always been a sign of respect and interest.

When you are with your partner, it doesn’t matter what you’re doing as long as you’re doing it together. You don’t want your partner being interrupted with their phones or not paying attention when you speak. You feel hurt when your partner isn’t making spending time with them a priority. So, if this is your partner’s love language learn how to listen, make eye contact more, and spend more time with them.

  1. Words of affirmation;

 ” Words so powerful. They can crush a heart, or heal it. It can shame a soul, or liberate it. They can shatter dreams, or energize them. It can obstruct connection, or invite it. They can create defenses, or melt them. We have to use words wisely” _ Jeff Brown.

Showing affection through spoken words and compliments is key with this love language. When you know this is your partner’s love language give them genuine compliments and tell them you appreciate them often.

  1. Act of service;

 “Day-to-day acts of service may not seem important, but they are building cords of love that become so strong they can seldom be broken” _ Marvin J. Ashton

In This type of love language, you feel loved and appreciated when someone does something nice to you. Things like; house chores running errands, taking out the trash, paying the bills, or picking up the kids from school are the loving characteristics of this love language.

  1. Physical touch;

 “No other form of communication is as universally understood as touch. The compassionate touch of a hand or a reassuring hug can take away our fears, soothe our anxieties and feel the emptiness of being lonely”_ Randi G. Fine

A person with this love language feels loved through physical affection. This doesn’t necessarily mean sex, it could be hugging, cuddling, or holding hands. If this is your love language you would love when your partner is around and any kind of neglect or abuse would destroy this type of person and their relationship.

  1. Communication;

 “Communication in a relationship is like oxygen is to life. Without it, it dies” _ Tony A. Gaskins Jr

Communication is the key to a successful relationship, never assume your partner knows about everything.

This is one major problem in relationships, we assume our partners know how we feel. I had trouble communicating with my partner whenever she does things to annoy me, I expected her to know and make amends. And this always brings a strain to our relationship.

This is not a good thing to do.

When you do not communicate your needs with your partner you end up losing each other. Keep your communication clear in your relationship, let your partner know the love language you feel loved, and also love them in the way they feel loved.

  1. Expression of affection:

“Love is not what you say. Love is what you do”

If you love someone it should show in your actions. Don’t just love with words express how you feel through your actions.

I’m the type of person that loves to show affection to my partner. Showing affection won’t make me less of a man nor make you seem weak.

It takes a second to say I love you but a lifetime to show it.


Your love language is the way you communicate and receive love. Which one do you strongly identify with? You may like all but one of them has to be the one that resonates with you the most. To have a healthy relationship it’s important you know your primary love language and that of your partner.

I wish you the very best in your relationships.

What’s your love language?